Thought of the Week: Fear

The enemy is fear. We think it is hate; but, it is fear.
~ Gandhi

The concept of fear has been on my mind a great deal of late. I believe that I can attribute many of these thoughts to the ongoing fiasco that is the presidential campaign taking place south of our border. I counselled myself not to step into the realm of the political here on my blog, but I'm choosing to ignore my own counsel (what do I know anyway, right?!). So here goes . . . I might preface things by saying something like, please don't take offense, no matter what side of things you're on, but really, that's pointless. What's taking place these days IS offensive, so let's go there. Bring it on!

Fear is defined as "an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat." Certainly, there are times when fear is warranted. This strong emotion taps into our very basic fight or flight instincts and responses, which are controlled by the autonomic nervous system. This system operates largely unconsciously. It's the system which enabled our Neanderthal ancestors to react without hesistation as they either ran from or attempted to defend themselves from a sabre-toothed tiger. So yes, fear can serve us well in our quest for survival.

But the brand of fear that so many of us in our society experience these days has little to do with survival. Back to the definition above: fear is caused by a "belief". Yes, that belief can be a reality as when the sabre-toothed tiger's saliva was dripping menacingly down upon our Neanderthal forefathers. But all too often our fears are a construct of our mind's musings, swirls of thought fed by countless sources of fuel: movies, news stories, articles appearing on the internet, conspiracy theories, dreams, childhood memories, overheard discussions, books, magazines and even tabloids. And these days, a man running for president. The metaphorical fineprint that we often neglect is that a great many of these sources are unsubstantiated.

Fear: False Evidence Appearing Real.~ Unknown

When someone tries to win power through fear-mongering, red flags should be waving to all of us. Hell, sirens should be blaring. Purposely playing on the fears of people, or even worse, inciting new fears in them, is disgraceful. Yet we are seeing a candidate for president doing exactly this, targeting a nation plagued with a history of acting on fear and thus hatred to tragic ends. We see a nation in which so many are trying to learn from the mistakes that too often go hand-in-hand with prejudice and fear being tempted by a soapbox orator with celebrity status (though I'd say a B-list celebrity, at best). This kind of rabble-rouser can be hard to resist, particularly when he's doing his utmost to appeal to the underlying prejudice and bias of some. His campaign trail is, in my opinion, littered with outtakes that would be deemed too disgraceful for an episode of 'Men Behaving Badly'. 

"You can discover what your enemy fears most

by observing the means he uses to frighten you."
~ Eric Hoffer

I understand that there are scare tactics being used on both sides of the campaigning trenches. This seems to be an ugly norm in political warring, and not one I've ever admired. Smear campaigns, ads that simply put down the other candidate rather than touting one's own merits and strengths, and basic mud slinging is pretty much par for the course in modern day elections. If only they could all come back to the tennets they were taught in Kindergarten, where name calling was deemed unkind, and where the Golden Rule prevailed :).

Fear paralyzes many of us on a daily basis. We're afraid of what people will think, and so we don't risk sharing an idea, wearing a particular outfit, meeting someone new. We're afraid of our own failure, and so we don't take a chance on a dream. On a much grander and appalling scale, humanity has a history pock-marked and stained with tragic events spawned in large part by people's fear. The Holocaust, the Rwandan Genocide, Slavery in the U.S., the Salem Witch Trials, the Japanese-Canadian Internment, and persecution of people in the LGBQT community, are just several examples of how far fear can carry people and their actions, or how that same fear can inhibit their ability to act when something should be stopped. And all too often there is someone at the helm, inciting the fear. Fear of 'the other' almost seems to take on a life of its own once it grabs hold.

I recently heard the song, 'Seriously' for the first time, coming across it as a videoclip on FaceBook, and immediately falling for it in every way. Written by Sara Bareilles, the lyrics represent the thoughts she imagines "Barack Obama is not saying publicly about this election and Donald Trump." Leslie Odom Jr. sings with a voice that sends out shivers of delight, and the musicians he performs with help bring the song to life beautifully. The lyrics about fear are so bang on I could cry. I've copied them here, along with a link to the song. Very much worth a listen (or many repetitions, as in my case!).

"Let's talk of fear

And why I don't bring it in here

It's a dangerous word,

it spooks the herd

And we all bleed in the stampede

Fear makes a false friend indeed

And I take it seriously."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hI8TCA3fJcs

The marvellous thing is that, if our fears are solely beliefs, we have the power to change them; in fact, we can eradicate them entirely. Think about the world you want to see around you, and the life you want to live. The things you want to do and say, the chances you want to take, and the dreams you want to chase. A life plagued by fear, which is more often than not groundless, is a shadow of the life you could live if you chose to do so.

If you are distressed by anything external,

the pain is not due to the thing itself,

but to your estimate of it;

and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.
~ Marcus Aurelius

Fears are educated into us,

and can, if we wish,

be educated out.
~ Karl Augustus Menninger

And so we all wait. We wait for the next three days to trickle by to see how a nation deals with the choice before them. And certainly, I have some fears. Sadly, no matter which way the election results fall, some may well come to fruition. I can't quite fathom the era of disrespect, egotism, dishonesty, narcissism and bigotry which could be ushered into the White House on one hand. Yet on the other, even should Trump be kept out of office, he has caused damage that will take years to repair. He has inflicted more hurt to a nation whose wounds are still gaping, further dividing its citizens along heated lines. He has also caused damage to an electoral system that he, out of his own fear of losing the election, has called into question with fantastic accusations of rigging. I'm noticing that I'm sighing a great deal as I write this . . . now for a deep, cleansing breath. I'll bring myself back to compassion, reminding myself that Mr. Trump is doing the best he can . . . and I know I should stop my sentence there, yet I feel a "but" coming on: but, why is it that some people's best is so shoddy?! Yes, dear reader, I'm getting ready to wrap things up, don't fret (or fear!). Let's turn things around here.

The antithesis of fear, in my own opinion, is hope, compassion and truth. And I like to think they can overpower fear anyday. The human spirit often boggles me in its capacity to persevere over fear and bias. People who have been wronged so wholly who are able to forgive and overcome the hatred which seems such a natural result inspire me incredibly.

“It's really a wonder that I haven't dropped all my ideals,
because they seem so absurd and impossible to carry out.
Yet I keep them, because in spite of everything,

I still believe that people are really good at heart.”  

~ Anne Frank, 'The Diary of a Young Girl'

I believe that, at least in most cases, Anne was right. If fear is often the culprit that possesses us when our best isn't as good as it has the potential to be, and we truly have the power to overcome and push past that fear, then it's up to us. Each and every one of us. I've just got to quote Sara Bareilles one more time here (can you tell I'm on a total kick of her songs?!), this time from her song 'Brave': "Show me, how big your brave is!"

Here's a list of strategies that can be used to overcome fear:
* Acknowledge the fear. Awareness is huge in all facets of life.
* Check it out, closely. Get up close and personal with it and be as objective as you can when you ask yourself if the fear is 'true' (as in, the sabre-toothed tiger is really breathing down your neck) or just a 'belief' that is unsubstantiated (hmmm, I don't actually live during the same time in history as sabre-toothed tigers).
* Find gratitude for some of the things that this fear might present with it. E.g., Though you might be fearful of public speaking, doing so allows you to share your ideas.
* Give yourself opportunities to face and experience your fear. The more often you do this, the less power your fears will have.
* Set a goal. Perhaps with baby steps initially, but challenge yourself to work your way through the experience of the fear further and further.
* Breathe (never a bad plan).
* Talk about it or enlist the help of a friend who can encourage you.
* Adopt a mantra. Use positive affirmations to help you conquer your fear, e.g., "I can do this." Or take a page from SNL character Stuart Smalley: "I'm good enough. I'm smart enough. And doggone it, people like me."

As for everyone's election fears, think on the bright side: should a worst-case scenario occur, we might be making a bunch of new friends up here in Canada as our Demoncratic American neighbours decide to defect :)

My wonders: Have you been following this American presidential election campaign, and if so, do you feel you've been doing so more closely than during previous elections? Do you feel strongly about the potential results one way or the other? What are your thoughts on fear lying at the root of hatred? How do you define the antithesis of fear? And finally, do you have any strategies that you've used to successfully fight fear?