Time with a Dear Friend: Wonderful Visit to New Brunswick, April 2017

Some of us are fortunate enough to have friends with whom we are so well connected that even when we don't see them in person regularly, our relationship doesn't suffer. These are the kinds of friends with whom we have such a bond and feel so comfortable that we're able to resume our deep connection and get right back to meaningful conversations after not being together for lengthy periods of time. I count myself immeasurably lucky to have had such a friend for more than 34 years now.

S and I met and became instant best friends when we were in grade three. I had just moved to a new school after having returned to Canada from Germany in the Spring, and there she was, the kindest, most friendly girl a "new kid" could ever hope to be welcomed by. I can't recall how we became close; we just immediately were in my mind's memory. Our bond remained unbreakable through countless separations, as my family continued to live in Europe for the Fall and Winter months of each year throughout elementary and middle school, and as her family moved abroad during middle school as well, of course timed so that we didn't see one another for about 18 months on that occasion. At high school graduation, we were voted "most inseparable friends" by our fellow graduates. We were both integral parts of each other's wedding parties. And while I've stayed geographically more constant as an adult, she has gone on to live in various corners of the world. I shared the news of my first pregnancy with her on a beach in Australia, the country she called home at the time. And now, some 34 years into our friendship, we continue to share a relationship that comforts me at a core level of my being. 

S and her family - which grew by one this Winter! - now live in New Brunswick, and I was so excited to be able to visit them earlier this month. Flying to the East Coast was a new experience for me, as the last time I was in the maritime provinces we'd driven there. I flew out of Hamilton with New Leaf airlines, another first for me. As I walked out of the airport waiting lounge onto the windy tarmac, the plane before me was emblazoned with the name 'Flair Air'. I had to double check that this was, indeed, the right plane as I hadn't noticed that this was the subsidiary airline name that I was to be taking. I giggled inside as I contemplated the fact that I've flown with WOW Air (to Iceland) and now Flair Air within a year's span. Flying with Flair - as was the case with WOW - proved absolutely fine, and I touched down safely in Moncton about two hours later.     

And there to pick me up at the airport was S with her two sweet little munchkins! This trip afforded me the opportunity to get to know her three-year-old son better - I love that we're buddies now! - and to meet her sweet little three-month-old for the first time. There's a feeling that I can't quite explain when you watch the children of a dear friend, someone whom you've known since your own childhood . . . though not quite in the same league, perhaps, I can only liken it to what a grandparent might feel when watching their grandchildren, or to seeing your sibling's children. Though I may be an only child, S and I have said that we'd have been quite happy to be sisters.

I could snuggle this sweet little muffin for hours!

We spent our days during my visit engaged in both the regular, everyday adventures of their family life - taking her son to playschool and gymnastics lessons, making dinner and attending to baby N's needs - and embarking on grander adventures, including wonderful hikes and explorations in New Brunswick and Nova Scotia. I'll let some of my photos do the talking:

Beautiful birches along the boardwalk in Sackville, NB.

 

Our happy little foursome enjoying a wonderful hike at Parrsboro, NS.

Beautiful purple and turquoise rocks at the beach in Parrsboro.

On my last full day, S and I, with sweet little baby N in tow, took off on a trek to the Hopewell Rocks (big thanks to S's husband G for his kindness and flexibility, which enabled us to take this daytrip!). Although the park was officially closed to visitors, we did not let the warning signs deter us, sneaking through the gates like the little rebels we are. Hiking through the woods together, we chatted along merrily while proceeding with some caution due to the ice and snow which still lay along the woodsy paths. The last time I'd been to see the Flowerpot Rocks here along the Bay of Fundy was during the month of August on M's and my honeymoon many years ago. It's a magical location at any time of year. Watching the swiftly moving tidewaters edging closer to the land is really quite amazing, and certainly made me appreciate the vast array of geographic beauty which this magnificent country of ours has to offer.

A sign which we conveniently chose to ignore.

The Flowerpot Rocks at Hopewell Rocks, NB.

 

Encroaching tides.

 

This trip was extra-special for so many reasons. Not only did I get to spend these days catching up with my dear kindred friend and enjoying some wonderful adventures with her, but I was able to share in the simple joys of her family life by taking part in many of their daily routines. Now I can picture what they might be doing at various times of the day, and knowing this brings a happy smile to my face. When I speak with her on the phone now and we chat about recent happenings, I can better imagine everything that she's talking about, from her lovely home to the quaint town and many of their friends and acquaintances. As luck would have it, she and her children have come home to Ontario for a spring visit, and getting to see them again so soon after my trip East is beyond wonderful. I can appreciate the slight changes in baby N, and her son and I are like old pals. I'm so grateful for the time I can share with S, and for our connection which has spanned both time and distance, and which I am confident always will.

P.S. On an aside, I must acknowledge that my blog posts are coming fewer and further between, due to a busy spring time. The online course that I am taking is monopolizing much of the time I could normally devote to writing, and a few other projects are keeping me rather busy these days. Thanks, as always, for reading and for understanding that life is a constant balancing act, and as such the time for my blog ebbs and flows along with everything else in my life. Wishing you all a happy spring time!

March Fun with Family in Florida

A lovely extended March Break is now behind us, and we were lucky to share a perfect mix of adventures and relaxation. After traveling to Toronto's Lester B. Pearson International Airport fully bundled in winter coats on the afternoon of March 7, we spent less than three hours in a plane and were breathing in the warmth of a Florida evening. Ahhh, the magic of human flight - yes, airplanes still absolutely amaze me, no matter how much reading I do about aerodynamics, thrust, lift and air pressure. My girls and I were fortunate enough to get to spend a week with my parents in Bradenton, Florida, where they've been wintering for the past two-and-a-half months. They've joined the flock of migratory snow birds this year, fully enjoying the change of climate and all of the perks that come with it. As did we for the week we spent with them! And while we happily anticipated the Florida sunshine, we were most excited about seeing my parents/Gramma and Grampa, whom we've missed during these past months.

Happy to have arrived at the Sarasota-Bradenton International Airport.

Our days down South were relaxed, to say the least. Even the preparation for this trip required the least amount of effort of any other travels I've embarked upon this year. For starters, heading to a relatively predictable warm climate made for easier prep. Our packing was also made stress-free knowing that we would be living in my parents' fully stocked home, complete with laundry facilities, and that we would also have stores nearby in case we forgot something. One suitcase was all it took, and we were off, more swimsuits in tow than anything else.

The whole trip felt as relaxed as snuggling up with a great book, which of course we also spent 
much time doing.

Along with my skin, my heart was warmed immediately as I watched my girls fling themselves into the arms of my parents' waiting embraces. Considering that we are lucky enough to see them very regularly when they are back at home, this winter without them living only a few short minutes away has definitely taken an adjustment. We were more than ready for a week of sun-filled adventures with them.

Much of our time in Bradenton was spent relaxing at the lovely home my parents have rented. We played games together, swam in the pool and soaked in the hot tub, went for neighbourhood walks, enjoyed movie evenings, and of course chilled out with books. The girls learned how to play chess, and E also took up knitting, a skill she's been wanting to learn from Gramma for some time. Enjoying this kind of schedule, at times our vacation had an element of being away at a cottage, albeit with a tropical slant. With my Mom cooking some of our very favourite dishes - chicken corn chowder for the girls, Kaesespaetzle for me - and my Dad pointing out and naming all of the birds, our trip was also lent a strong feeling of coming home.

I was ever so grateful to greet each morning by doing yoga poolside, listening to the birds welcoming the new day as they flocked in and around the lake backing onto the property. In addition to the myriad of birdlife in the area, including herons, egrets, ibis, cormorants, sandhill cranes, pelicans and roseate spoonbills, this lake was also home to gators, turtles and otters, which we were excited to spot now and then.

Majestic Great Blue Heron

Just keeping an eye on Great Blue.

We were all so excited to see this otter, and were ecstatic when two more were spotted
running back into the forest.

In and amongst these relaxing hours were peppered daily outings. Florida's Gulf Coast boasts beautiful beaches, and we visited a few, including Siesta Key Beach (also called Siesta Beach), regularly voted by a variety of sources as one of the top ten beaches in North America. Miles upon miles of powdery white sand met us, soft and silky under our bare feet, and countless colourful umbrellas dotted the shoreline where fellow beachgoers sought shade. E happily splashed in the water as we meandered our way along the shore, so grateful for this perfect beach day we'd been granted. We also visited Coquina Beach, saw Bradenton and Cortez Beaches during our trip, and enjoyed the 1.5 mile park known as the Riverwalk that spans downtown Bradenton, 

Miles of powdery white sand at Siesta Key Beach.

'Parabolic Dishes', one of numerous outdoor art features along Bradenton's Riverwalk.

Family Fun Zone overlooking the Manatee River.

Another favourite destination was the Manatee Viewing Centre in Apollo Beach, a wonderful (and free!) attraction featuring an education centre, butterfly garden, a mangrove swamp, stingray touch tank, and shallow waters where we were able to view a variety of marine life forms, including manatees, tarpin, and entertaining jumping fish. The canal running along this centre has been designated a manatee sanctuary. It provides these wonderfully gentle and endangered animals with a warm-water refuge during times when the temperatures of the surrounding bodies of water dip too low for the temperature-sensitive creatures. We saw a great many manatee moving with slow ease in the estuary, H noting that they looked rather like floating potatoes, which indeed they do. Without a doubt the girls' favourite spot was Cowshead Cove, the stingray touch pool. The gracefully gliding rays truly seemed to enjoy our gentle touch, regularly approaching us and turning back for repeated glide-by visits! Especially nice about this centre is that, other than the stingrays, all of the creatures were in their natural environments, free to come and go as they pleased. I highly recommend a visit to this excellent centre if you are ever in the Tampa area of Florida - H and E enjoyed it so much that we went twice!

Sting ray popping up to say Hello!

Manatee!

Florida in the spring time also represents baseball's preseason training time, and my Dad organized an afternoon outing for us all to go see a game featuring the Baltimore Orioles, who train in Sarasota, and the Pittsburgh Pirates, whose preseason training home is Bradenton. As both are considered preseason "local" teams, the stadium was nearly full and the vibe in the air was tinged with excitement. As Murphy's Law would have it, we went on the hottest day of our trip, and so a jump into the pool - in our clothes! - helped us to cool down afterwards, as of course did some ice cream.

Practically personalized ice cream!

The best part of our time away really boiled down to being together with family. As M decided to forego taking this time off from work and stayed at home, we did miss him a great deal (and Tricksie cat, too!), which made returning home easier. And knowing that my parents will be returning home in just a few weeks made our goodbyes less sorrowful, too. Having stayed at their Florida home and explored the surrounding areas, I so appreciate now being able to envision where they are. When we catch up through texts and phone calls, I can truly picture what they've been up to, what the creatures they tell me about look like, and where their adventures have taken them. 

Spring has now officially sprung and new adventures await us all. May yours be positively memorable, heartwarming and joy-filled. Happy Spring!

My wonders: Have you ever visited Florida's Gulf Coast, and if so, what were some of your trip's highlights? What is one of your favourite beaches to visit, and why? If you live in a location that boasts cold winters, can you imagine being a "snow bird", migrating South for the winter months? Or do you enjoy all that nature's four seasons have to offer?

Cuban Get-Away During an Emotionally Charged Month of Loss

I love all four, distinct seasons that we typically experience in Canada. There's something rather miraculous to me in the vast spectrum of weather systems we're privy to here in South Western Ontario, and in the drastically different landscapes that we're treated to right outside our windows from month to month. And there's beauty to be found in all of it: a winter's day when the sky is brilliantly blue and the snow lies white and crystalline on the ground; a spring morning when the emerging buds on our flowering crab apple tree and the chirping of the birds tell us that milder temperatures are here; a summer's afternoon when pools and popsicles beckon as we relish the co-mingled gifts of sunshine and shade; and autumn, my personal favourite, when the air's crispness invites cozy sweaters and the splendour of the leaves' colours astounds. 

All of that being said, there are times when the winter months can begin to wear on one, particularly if it's been a long season of severe winter weather, and if the sunshine has been scarce. I find that during such periods, the weariness I experience is more about my missing a broader colour palette than the plaguing frigid temperatures. Months on end of whites, greys and browns can become dreary, and when the sun hides its rays as it did this January, the urge to see some colour is strong. CBC News declared last month to be the "dreariest January in Waterloo Region in 19 years." As of January 29, 2017, 570 News reported that "the average amount of sunlight in January is 86 hours, or 21 days of sunlight. However . . . we've only had 12 hours of sunlight, or four days with sun." Fortunately, the sun began to peer through at the very end of the month and we've been fortunate to see it more frequently in February as well. 

Escaping to warmer climates can be a most welcoming prospect during a Canadian winter for these very reasons, and my family did so with some good friends last month. While we usually enjoy the planning of a trip, we completely deferred to our friends this time, and so we let them and a friend of theirs who has recently become a travel agent do all of the legwork in the fall. We booked tickets to an all-inclusive resort in Cayo Coco, Cuba for the middle of January. As a teacher, I'm used to paying the peak-season prices of the Christmas or March Breaks, and so we were absolutely flabbergasted - and thrilled! - at the incredibly reasonable pricing available to us. Due to each family's own scheduling needs, we wound up traveling separately but overlapping five of our seven days of vacation.

I mentioned in my recent 'January 2017 By the Numbers' post (http://balancingb-g.blogspot.ca/search/label/By%20the%20Numbers) that "this past month was a topsey-turvey one emotionally speaking". I'd say that some of that topsey-turviness peaked during the weekend before we were scheduled to leave for Cuba, when I suffered something of an emotional breakdown. It wasn't pretty. My Oma, a beloved and constant figure in my life, had been declining in health over the past couple of years, and certainly since my dear Opa's passing in June of 2015. And that gradual decline seemed to have picked up in pace and severity as the new year arrived. In all honesty, had I known where things would be with her when we booked our trip to Cuba back in the fall, I never would have committed to the vacation. And so the weekend before our departure, spent both visiting with her as much as I could and then packing suitcases at home, I will admit that I was a sobbing mess, questioning what I was doing, one moment saying that I must cancel my flight, while simultaneously feeling guilty at the thought of abandoning M and the girls, not to mention our friends. M was fully supportive, more or less saying that he would do whatever it was that I needed from him. He had also arranged for his father, a retired minister, to stay at our house while we were away and to visit Oma periodically during our absence. I do believe that this arrangement was one of the factors that ultimately allowed me to leave with some comfort. That and an emotional conversation with my Mom, who talked me down from the proverbial ledge. 

On January 16th, the day of our departure, the girls went to school for the morning as we had a late-afternoon flight. M and I picked up some coffees and went to see Oma for a last visit before our trip. And how grateful I am that we did, because this was to be one of the loveliest visits I'd had with her in some time. She was sweet as was always her nature, and more alert than she'd been during recent visits. Oma had always enjoyed a cup of coffee, but her appetite had gradually decreased to the point that she no longer consumed much of anything, let alone a hot beverage. But on this morning we were so happily surprised to hear that she did, indeed, want to join us in having some coffee! I went to get her a cup, and proceeded to cool it by pouring small amounts into a separate glass so that she could comfortably sip it through the straw I held to her lips. As the visit progressed, she drank the entire cup! We shared fun memories and M played songs on his phone that we knew she enjoyed, including the theme songs from some of the television shows I used to watch with Oma and Opa, 'The Love Boat' and 'Fantasy Island' topping off our favourites. This visit left me on such a high, ending with Oma's always heartfelt words, "I love you", and that feeling enabled me to carry on with our vacation plans for the week ahead.

And so Cuba provided the sunny warmth and relaxing atmosphere that I can now say may very well have been exactly what we needed during this rather somber time as a family. Cuban hospitality saw us connecting with people who worked at the resort, highlighted by the sweet relationship that developed between E and a young woman named Juleeta who worked at the smoothie bar that we visited each morning at breakfast. This upbeat and outgoing girl spoke to us openly about the courses she was taking as she continued her education, and always treated us to friendly smiles and waves as she greeted us and engaged us in conversation. We spent our days with no other schedules than those dictated by our stomachs, the eight of us making our way to lunch when we were ready for some sustenance and a break from the sun. Most amazing was the freedom afforded us all now that the girls have all reached more independent ages. Often disappearing in pairs, the girls were each armed with a friend and made their way to explore the resort, hit the pools for a swim, go and grab a snack, and visit the swim-up bar for a slushy drink, definitely a favourite activity of the "the littles" who were such regulars that the bartenders had nicknames for them and knew their orders by heart (oh yes, of course we are not oblivious to the near inevitable fact that this type of scenario will no doubt be repeated in years to come when the girls are older!). All of this independence left the adults with time to chat and relax, a surreal experience to be sure. M and I were even able to enjoy morning cappuccinos together, either on our beach-view patio or at the lounge, and some early beach walks, as our girls were comfortable with us leaving for short outings as dawn broke while they still slept.

Long shadows during a morning beach walk.

 

The two "littles" at the swim-up bar, while the "bigs" look on.

Peppered in amongst the hours of relaxation were pool-side zumba and dance classes, visits to the gorgeous beach for sand castle building, shell collecting and breathtaking walks, and swimming and paddle boat outings in the ocean. Evenings were spent dining and attending the resort's shows and other organized activities. 

By the time our final day arrived, we were all ready to head back home. While vacationing is fantastic, there's always something wonderful about returning home. And in this case, the girls were both eager to return to school, we were all ready for some of the comforts of home, including our own beds and a kitchen stocked with some of the fruits, veggies and other favourite foods that we'd been missing, and above all, I wanted to get home to see Oma. 

As I'd feared would inevitably be the case, Oma's condition had deteriorated during my absence, and the palliative care cart that greeted me in her room upon my return was a physical reminder of what we all knew was coming. We tried to take comfort in the knowledge that she was ready to leave this Earthly life, and that she wanted nothing more than to be with Opa. She passed away in the early hours of Saturday, January 28, and while we mourn her loss still, we know that this was the release she was ready for.

The truth is, some days I regret having gone on the trip, having not capitalized on some of those additional days with her. On other days I'm okay with it. I feel quite certain that Oma wouldn't want me to feel guilty about it, and so I try to be gentle with myself. I just miss her.

As I shared in my eulogy at her funeral, I will leave you with this image of comfort inspired by a good friend, and initially by a memory once shared with me by Oma as she recalled when she and Opa had shared time in a rose garden during the years of their courtship. She had told me years ago, “We were sitting on a bench, side by side, and then he picked a dark red rose and reached over and put it in my lapel.” During the days following Oma's death, we all took much comfort in the care and concern showed by many of our friends. Thanks to all of you who reached out in one way or another. Upon hearing of Oma’s passing, our dear friend Bruce shared his heartfelt sympathies with us, and then told us about a video that our loss reminded him of. He said, “There’s a wonderful Brad Paisley music video, with Andy Griffith, called ‘Waitin' on a Woman’. . . and the final scene is Andy in a white suit, waiting on a bench by the water, and he says to the camera, ‘Take your time, ‘cause I don’t mind, waitin' on a woman.’” Bruce proceeded to say, “I’m sure Opa was waiting with welcoming, open arms.” 

I’m sure he was, too, and perhaps he had a deep red rose to put in Oma’s lapel.

Sources:

Brad Paisley's video, 'Waitin' on a Woman': https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M-C-IbkuNWs

http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/kitchener-waterloo/2017-was-darkest-january-waterloo-kitchener-19-years-1.3963333

http://www.570news.com/2017/01/29/january-seeing-less-average-hours-sunlight/