Mindfulness to me is the state of being present and calm, grateful for the now and all that this moment encapsulates. Thoughts, fears and anxieties about the past and future are common obstacles to enjoying this state, and I find that my own A-type personality often impedes my achievement of being truly mindful. Rereading my words here, several jump out which I ruefully acknowledge as being sure impediments for me: "quest", "achievement". I tend to be goal oriented and find great satisfaction in the completion of a task or project. I will cut myself some slack in acknowledging that these are not negative traits in all contexts of life, of course, but they can greatly hinder my own sense of mindfulness and savouring the present moment on a regular basis. If you're looking ahead to how you're going to get somewhere or complete and achieve something, it's very difficult to be savouring this moment, here and now.
My experience with yoga, meditation and mindfulness is varied, but lacks the depth and regularity that I would like to feel the benefits of. As a younger practitioner, I occasionally dropped into a class at a gym, or followed a televised or recorded class in my own home. Pre-natal yoga was something I also engaged in on occasion as an expectant mother, but the practice was always something that felt more like an add-on, fit in where I could manage it, and it was always superseded by my running.
My experience with yoga, meditation and mindfulness is varied, but lacks the depth and regularity that I would like to feel the benefits of. As a younger practitioner, I occasionally dropped into a class at a gym, or followed a televised or recorded class in my own home. Pre-natal yoga was something I also engaged in on occasion as an expectant mother, but the practice was always something that felt more like an add-on, fit in where I could manage it, and it was always superseded by my running.
Feeling the need for greater balance in my life both physically and spiritually during the dawn of motherhood, I began going to a regular weekly yoga class when my eldest daughter, H, was just a toddler. A fellow educator and I attended a class held in the backroom of a church, simple yet full of daylight which streamed through the wall of windows behind us. We joked that, combining our skill set, we could together make one decent yogi, physically speaking. She was the flexible one, a physical skill I lack in many areas, and I seemed to have better-than-average balance along with some strength. Eventually, though we both thoroughly enjoyed the class, I found the stress of finding care for H and then racing across town to get to class on time outweighed the benefits reaped; after all, wasn't a major point of my going to reduce stress rather than increase it? Sporadic yoga practice ensued, during which I again simply fit it in when I could by more or less doing my own thing at home.
Years later, a neighbour friend and I began going to hot yoga classes together at a Bikram facility. Again, though I felt fleeting moments of inner peace and most definitely began to feel the benefits of increased flexibility in incremental measurements, I still struggled with attendance. The class was late in the evening and we were both already exhausted from a full day of work and motherhood; by now I was Mommy to my two girls. I was giving up what small amount of time my husband and I had at the end of a day. And the heat . . . in the words of Elaine of 'Seinfeld' fame, "My God, the heat!" I craved cool breezes and icy glasses of lemonade while in the sweat-drenched chamber, my nostrils filled with the stench of feet, my skin soaked in my own perspiration and, distressingly, often that of the person next to me, as beads of sweat flew off of them onto me. The most delicious part was stepping outside into the cold Canadian winter after the 90-minute class, relishing the snowflakes on my face and the bitter wind on my hot skin. We found ourselves canceling more and more often, and eventually stopped attending altogether.
Years later, a neighbour friend and I began going to hot yoga classes together at a Bikram facility. Again, though I felt fleeting moments of inner peace and most definitely began to feel the benefits of increased flexibility in incremental measurements, I still struggled with attendance. The class was late in the evening and we were both already exhausted from a full day of work and motherhood; by now I was Mommy to my two girls. I was giving up what small amount of time my husband and I had at the end of a day. And the heat . . . in the words of Elaine of 'Seinfeld' fame, "My God, the heat!" I craved cool breezes and icy glasses of lemonade while in the sweat-drenched chamber, my nostrils filled with the stench of feet, my skin soaked in my own perspiration and, distressingly, often that of the person next to me, as beads of sweat flew off of them onto me. The most delicious part was stepping outside into the cold Canadian winter after the 90-minute class, relishing the snowflakes on my face and the bitter wind on my hot skin. We found ourselves canceling more and more often, and eventually stopped attending altogether.
Thanks to some talented colleagues and a mindfulness workshop for teachers in which I participated, I began bringing yoga and mindfulness techniques into my Kindergarten classroom a number of years ago. The practice had wonderfully calming effects on my students, noticeably enhancing their abilities to self-regulate their emotions and thus their behaviour. A variety of wonderful books (future post planned during which I'll share some of my fave resources in this area) helped introduce many of the concepts that I wanted to impart to these young learners, and I found that these times of the day were often my very favourite in the classroom. Many parents of my students also raved about the impact this practice was having on their children. I had to smile with satisfaction when one such Mom shared with me how much her son missed yoga now that he was in Grade One, and that she was going to begin the practice with him in their home.
More recently, I have increased my time on the mat by doing yoga in the comfort of my own home using instructional videos as my teacher on a near-daily basis, typically in the mornings, though sometimes also at night. This practice has enabled me to begin and/or end my day more mindfully, and suits my schedule fairly well. I do enjoy being around other practitioners at times, and have also attended some classes that a talented friend of mine leads in her studio. My hope is to begin attending a regular class in order to extend my practice, and to continue practising at home as well. Having more time on my hands than usual these days, of course, could make this much easier, but I am trying to create a routine for myself which I will, in all hopes, be able to continue when I'm back to teaching next year.
As for meditation, I feel that I've done more reading about it than actual practise. Most of my experience with some form of meditating comes at the end of a yoga session, and otherwise comprises five- to ten-minute bouts of attempted serenity. My thoughts typically swirl madly in my head during these moments. My internal voice most definitely needs quieting. I tell myself that I am a work in progress, and that every moment in attempted meditation is a good one, even when I'm overwhelmed by a tsunami of thought.
Here's some exciting news: I'm going on a week-long Yoga and Meditation Retreat in Maine in October! A friend of mine and I had spoken about doing this sort of thing nearly a year ago, and this summer we committed to choosing a retreat and enrolling. We are attending Rolling Meadows, described as "a 100 acre yoga and meditation retreat centre over-looking the hills of coastal Maine." Check out the website below if you're interested in learning more.
Stay tuned to hear about the details of this adventure in mindfulness (is that an oxymoron??) and silence . . . oh yes, did I mention that it's a silent retreat?!?! I'm prepared to be humbled and challenged, that's for certain.
Namaste.
My wonder: How do you fit yoga, meditation and/or mindfulness techniques into your busy daily life?
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