Thought of the Week: Gratitude

"Cultivate the habit of being grateful 

for every good thing that comes to you,

and to give thanks continuously.

And because all things have contributed 

to your advancement,

you should include all things in your gratitude."

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Piglet noticed that even though he had a Very Small Heart,

it could hold a rather large amount of Gratitude."

~ A. A. Milne, 'Winnie-the-Pooh'

Thanksgiving weekend is nearly upon us here in Canada, and so thoughts of gratitude naturally come to mind. Or do they? As a teacher, I know that most students are hearing stories and engaging in discussions about thankfulness and what that means. Certainly many primary children will be drawing and writing about what they are thankful for. And of course their lists are varied, often ranging from family, friends and food, to a favourite toy or getting to play on an i-Pad (I remind myself that there is worth in all gratitude!). But let's face it, for many adults, Thanksgiving weekend is more about the extra day off work, football games, the intricacies of family gatherings, and all of the preparation that goes into hosting and cooking the feast, which of course are all things to be grateful for. But does thankfulness get relegated to this one day and too often shelved for the other 364 days of the year?

I strive to live a life of gratitude, I really do. Too often I find myself muttering about some of my first-world problems. I try to shake myself free of that mood and remind myself about what really matters. I doubt that a school day goes by when the thought, "I despise making lunches!" doesn't course through my mind. And yes, the logical and much more magnanimous 'me' usually counters with, "Be happy that you have children who need them and plenty of food to feed them." This voice is inevitably met with a wry smile on my part as I resist the urge to stick out my tongue at that 'me' for being such a goodie-two-shoes. But it helps. By this point I'm usually well into making the lunches and feeling much better about it. And I'm often lucky that someone in my family has joined me in the task, which inspires that much more gratitude.

But there are times when it's definitely harder than others to be thankful. When life becomes overwhelming, which it surely does for everyone at one point or another, practising gratitude can be a tremendous challenge. Ralph Waldo Emerson refers to being grateful for all things, even the negative things that we've experienced, for those things have all contributed to shaping the people we are today. Ayyy, that starts to get heavy because we all carry baggage, and the bearing of some of those burdens may have instilled us with a trait or two of which we're not all that fond. And yet, I truly believe, that each experience lived and trait acquired teaches us something, particularly the more aware of them we can become. The ultimate truth for me remains this: to embrace an awareness of those realities within us, to find some measure of gratitude for them, can only lead to a positive outcome of some sort, whereas the reverse - brooding on those things in the past that cannot be changed and living a static life of regret and pessimism - is sure to bring about many negative consequences. Though difficult, even in loss gratitude can be found, as this well-known saying attests to: "Don't cry because it's over; smile because it happened." 

Following are just a few tips to help you find those moments of gratitude, and hopefully cultivate a true spirit of thankfulness in your life. 

Say it loud, Say it proud
Pluck out one thing that you are grateful for, no matter what that thing might be, and state it out loud. Not just inside your brain, but aloud. And yes, sometimes that might sound something like, "I'm grateful that this day is over!" or "I'm grateful for this second glass of wine!" That's okay; we all have days like that. Expressing a feeling of gratitude out loud helps in two ways. First, it makes that gratitude more of a reality for yourself, as words spoken ultimately have more permanence than those floating in your head. And it might just have a secondary benefit, as it enables that gratitude to be heard by others, if present, and thus has the potential to perpetuate the attitude. Gratitude can be catchy like that!

Write it down
The power of the written word is strong for most of us, as is evident by the fact that the 'National Enquirer' has been publishing stories that sell since its creation in 1926. Keeping a gratitude journal is another way many people consciously articulate the things they are grateful for. As a person who enjoys writing, I've adopted this practice at various times in my life and it's been a powerful tool each time, particularly during times in my life when I was finding it more difficult to come by gratitude naturally. A dear friend of mine recently showed me a video recorded in a place of work which depicted several men running towards and then bouncing up on a small trampoline in order to place a stickie note as far up the company's 'Gratitude Wall' wall as they possibly could. Seriously, what a wonderfully fun and stress-relieving way to bring gratitude into the workplace! Whether you're writing your thoughts of gratitude in a private journal or on a post-it note for all to see, the act of consciously writing down what you're grateful for is a powerful exercise.

Share gratitude
Whether with your family, friends, colleagues, or even a complete stranger, sharing gratitude is bound to have a positive impact on all involved. Many of us were taught the most basic and fundamental expression of gratitude when we were mere toddlers: using our kind words and saying "Thank you". What a difference these two little words make! My daughter H has a regular habit of thanking me for the meals and snacks I make for her. This practice seems to come completely naturally to her, and she says the words with sincerity as she eagerly tucks into her food. As the recipient of her gratitude, I immediately feel a positive sensation wash over me, and any sense of drudgery that might otherwise have accompanied the task is gone. While "please" is often touted as the "magic word", I find the words "Thank you" to be even more powerful.

Set a common time to practise gratitude - but allow space for those times when living our lives gets in the way
For many the dinner table is a common place to share thoughts and discussions about the day. Perhaps this is a time for a regular sharing of gratitude. With my own children, bedtime is a special time (when we're not getting there too late at the end of a frazzling day, though this is likely when we most need a moment of mindful gratitude!). This has often been the time and place for sharing the "smiles" of our day, allowing us to go to sleep on a positive note. The reality for my family is that this doesn't happen every day. Schedules get hectic and I do not want the expression of gratitude to become "one more thing" that we feel a robotic need to accomplish. Heaven knows we don't need more guilt, so I try to release the need to check the box for this and rather revel in the joy when the moment is available. While we try to make it a positive habit, we also acknowledge that each day may not allow for this formal time. We might all just benefit from being a little bit easier on ourselves.

And now thank YOU, dear reader, for reading my post. Your time, engagement, comments and support are most appreciated. I am grateful for you.
Happy Thanksgiving!

My wonder: What do you do to actively practise gratitude? Do you have any personal ways that you remind yourself to be thankful even when it's difficult? I'd certainly be grateful for any tips you can share with me!