Thought of the Week: Stillness

"In the attitude of silence the soul finds the path in a clearer light, 

and what is elusive and deceptive resolves itself into crystal clearness. 

Our life is a long and arduous quest after Truth."

~ Mahatma Ghandi

 

"It is in the sanctuary of nature's silent places, 

with mindful attention, 

that the true liberation of the heart can be obtained."

~ Buddha

Having recently returned from a week-long silent yoga and meditation retreat, I can speak to how closing the lid on a "container of silence" affected me personally. When we first arrived at the Rolling Meadows Retreat Centre in Maine after our twelve-hour drive there, we were able to speak with everyone, meeting and greeting as one would at the beginning of a conference or vacation get-away. Our first meal together was spent getting to know a little bit about each other through natural social conversation. Questions about where people were from and how we traveled to get to the retreat centre cropped up, and easy jokes that ensued brought about laughter in the group. Most of the other ten participants were American, and one cracked a political joke, saying that they all needed to befriend us Canadians so that we might help them tunnel up North should the election result in a certain blustery fanatic becoming the next president of the United States! This kind of easy social banter kept us engaged and allowed us to get our bearings in this new environment.

Our first evening meditation session followed shortly thereafter, during which many logistical issues were outlined, including the agreement that we would be practising social silence, only speaking at select times during our sessions. At the conclusion of this session, we had officially entered into silence. 

One of the reasons for silence at retreats such as the one I attended is to create a space free of distraction and in which the focus on so many of the superficial values perpetuated in our society can be put aside. Time and space is given to just be, to become more fully aware of our true Selves, and to reveal or renew a sense of deeper meaning, compassion and clarity in our lives.

At the beginning of the week, there were indeed times when the silence felt awkward to me. Meal times in particular felt this way, especially if I sat at one of the larger tables. Usually such a social scenario, and especially in sharp contrast to that first meal we had all shared, eating in silence initially felt odd. I have certainly never been so keenly aware of the noises my own chewing makes! However, this sense of strangeness eased up after a few meals. We could also choose to eat in nearly any nook in the house that we wished, so oftentimes we would all be dispersed throughout the main floor of the large house, nestled in cozy chairs, sitting on the floor and eating at the coffee table, or siting with a few others at the kitchen or dining tables. 

Encountering people while in the woods and not greeting one another also had a strange feeling, but I tended to make up for this lack of polite verbal greeting with a smile and nod; some more militant in their ways resisted this and simply averted their eyes. Soon the silent ideal felt pretty normal, especially since we were usually digesting and integrating what we'd experienced during sessions. The other comforting element was that most of us were not entirely robotic about the silence: we whispered a "sorry" or "excuse me" when necessary, and as mentioned, smiles and the occasional bit of eye contact eliminated most of the awkwardness which may have otherwise clung. My friend and I were roommates, and prior to our entry into silence, we had also agreed that a whispered "Good night" and "Good morning" were both fair game. The two words given and received at the end and beginning of a day elicited broad smiles and a little thrill that so often comes from doing the forbidden.

"Silence is golden" is a phrase many of us have heard, but do we really believe that in this day and age? Our culture so often seems to revere those with the gift of oration. Great speakers are often given leadership roles and we all too often chide youngsters who are shy and quiet, urging them to speak up and make their mark verbally. All too often quietness seems to be looked upon as a weakness or deficit in our society.

Yet so much can be gleaned from listening, and listening well, both to others and to what is inside of ourselves. I feel very grateful for having had the opportunity to truly embrace quiet for the last week. As a natural introvert, I tend to recharge my own proverbial batteries more effectively when in a quieter environment. I feel more able to think and feel with clarity after even a short time of stillness.  Nature's stillness in particular nourishes me and helps me see what matters most. The one hundred acres of beautiful autumn woods in Maine upon which the retreat centre is located were a wondrous source of inspiration and clarity, and I close my eyes and breathe in the scent and feeling that I found there even as I sit here, many miles away.

"Silent spaces invite us to go to the inner room - the room inside ourselves.

By making room for silence, we resist the forces of the world which tell us to live an advertised life of surface appearances,

instead of a discovered life - a life lived in contact with our senses, our feelings,

our deepest thoughts and values."

~ Gunilla Norris

Returning to the world of talking is, perhaps not surprisingly, taking a bit of an adjustment. On our final morning of the retreat following our last session, the lid was taken off of our "container of silence" and we spent our last breakfast together chatting and ultimately saying goodbye. Seeing, or more aptly, hearing all of these people with whom we'd shared this time of silence now talking away was both exciting and yet felt just as odd as our initial silence had felt. And now, being back home amongst family and friends, I'm happy to be in their presence and able to catch up. There's nothing quite like connecting with another and delighting in sharing stories, thoughts and feelings with each other. But I'm also cognizant of how much society's noise and kerfuffle can take out of me. That awareness is key, and I will do my best to remember to make space for stillness when possible. Time to check in with where I am internally, to nourish myself through meditation, and to just go hang out with the trees.

My wonder: Do you value silence? Do you derive strength from it, or is it an uncomfortable space for you? Have you ever been on a silent retreat, or would you like to participate in one?